Aaaangst

A forewarning:

This post is going to be full of me ranting and rambling about a blog entry that ever so slightly irked me.

It will be full of coarse language, which, like coarse sandpaper rubbed against your skin, will irritate you.

If you are offended by coarse language, please do not read this entry.

Something to think about when you’re feeling homicidal:

1. Everything around you is a weapon. Even that glass of water.
2. Plan ahead to dispose of the corpses.
3. Have a plausible, concrete alibi to work with.
4. Don’t play Unreal Tournament or similar games if you’re bad at them, when you get these urges. They are likely to enrage you further.

If you can’t plan for numbers two or three, then don’t go on a homicidal killing spree.

Something to think about when you’re sharing a network with the family:

• Having access to their computer, and especially their [tag]HOSTS file[/tag] is EXTREMELY vital if you’re the network’s controller.
• Instantly add lads.[tag]myspace[/tag].com to a HOSTS file or to the router’s blocked list. HOSTS file is preferred, since it doesn’t seem obvious to those who are not computer savvy. This has the benefit of blocking the music that plays on MySpace, forcing the family to actually learn about other websites besides MySpace!
• Install every safe anti-spyware and anti-virus measure (eg: [tag]Spybot S&D[/tag] run in Advanced mode to add its custom HOSTS file definitions as well as its IE sanitizer, [tag]SpywareBlaster[/tag] to further innoculate the system, [tag]Avast! Antivirus[/tag] as one free option that is compatible with the newly released [tag]Windows Vista[/tag]) that you can before you allow them to touch the computer. It saves you from having to perform maintenance every four days on the computer.
• Consider a router with a bandwidth throttle. Whenever they manage to annoy you on your network, throttle them down to the speeds a dialup user gets. Classic example of disturbance is singing off-key while on the internet, watching music videos from sites you didn’t add to the HOSTS file.

For once, I’m pretty cranky, and it can’t be helped.

I keep missing the last test by just a few points. It’s frustrating the absolute mess out of me.
I only have a few more days that I can take that test on, too.

After that, I think I’m still allowed to take the state test, but I won’t have Saturn’s guarantee to back me.

On top of that, my car seems to have given her dying breath.
Mom and I have poured so much money into that car to keep it running, despite the fact that we both knew we should just junk the car and get another one.
It seems to be one more thing that needs to be worked on, and I can’t afford to pay for that.

This makes things much more difficult.

I just have three practice exams to take (two of them are for the guarantee that the company I’m taking my practice exams from — should I fail, they’d reimburse me for the test).

Here comes the stress, baby. Here comes the stress.

Someone buy me some ice cream, right? :b

I turned in my two weeks’ notice to my current employer yesterday.

I’m still looking for another job, but right now? Sheesh, I feel better, because I’m just going to move forward, shedding all my bad weight.

I love the [tag]customers[/tag] I work with at [tag]Albertson’s[/tag], sometimes. I have some really good, really nice people who come in nearly every day, and keep me from regretting my job so much. The work isn’t altogether too difficult, though, the pay rate for what is expected of us is less than desired even with the removal of 30 minute photo.

I just hate the people who come in there to grind their bloody hateboners about people like me (you know, the lower working class — the people, that if we all quit simultaneously, and no one was hired to fill our spots for months at a time… the country would collapse, because no one would know how to get food?), looking down their noses while they have their stupid RAZRs and Treos glued to their head, wondering why we keep talking to them while they’re on their phones.
I hate the people who come in with those obviously fake coupons for “free _________”, and then get absolutely irritated when we politely say, “We’re sorry, but it is company policy that we do not accept Internet coupons for free product. We cannot honor your coupon.”
I hate the people who come in to the store to return two or four $9 bottles of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and don’t have a receipt, because we won’t refund them on that if we don’t see it in the computer. We have to make them wait, while a manager goes upstairs and reviews the receipt log for the time of day the person claims to have bought them, and if it is in the computer, well, they get a gift card, because the return’s over $5 without a receipt.
I hate the people who cannot read a neatly printed sign that reads,
“This window is CLOSED. Customer Service Center Hours: 9 AM to 9 PM” — they’re usually one of the following two fools:

1. The window they’re standing at is closed. That cashier has gone to lunch, and I’m on the other register, visibly helping customers who are in line there. They get mad because I won’t break them into the line that is obviously flowing on the other end of the counter. I get stuff like, “I JUST WANT A LOTTO TICKET!” out of them. “Sure, just a moment, I have nine customers who are IN LINE, ahead of you. Let me finish with them, and I’ll be glad to help.” is what they get.
2. It’s either some time before nine in the morning, or some time after nine at night. Asking me to check your lottery tickets, check in your movies, find out if I have a movie to rent, ring up items, process MoneyGram, sell you scratch-off tickets (which are obviously NOT IN THE CASE)… it’s not going to happen. I’ll be more than happy to hand you a pack of smokes, so you can go to A CASHIER and have them rung up, but nothing else happens.

I love the customers who ask me how I’m doing, or want to stick around for ten minutes or so and shoot the breeze with me over random stuff while I’m working. You’re the guys that make my day, because, y’know, work is the only human to human (h2h) interaction I get on a day to day basis. I’m usually home when the family is either gone, or asleep, so yeah, I lack good h2h on an average day.

You’re the guys I’m going to miss, unless I happen to run into you all where I go.

Take care of yourselves, and don’t beat up the rest of ‘em too bad.
Y’all are right: I have too much talent to be wasting it in a grocery store for the rest of my life.

[tags]hateboner, grocery store, annoyances, cellular phones, cellphones, h2h, customer ignorance, touch of kindness[/tags]

I don’t know how my aunt’s going to react when she gets in this afternoon, and I don’t have my share of the mortgage and bills.

I don’t get my PayPerPost money (from the puzzle I put together) until Wednesday. It would make the difference I need in covering my bills.

Job searches are going horribly today.

All I can do… is pray.

From an earlier IRC conversation:

<@Xial>
So, I had this weird dream the other night.
I was walking to a corner store with my aunt and my cousins. In this store, they were playing Hakim, and it was crowded. People were selling drugs and stuff there.
They also had imported scratch-off tickets from the middle eastern regions.
One of the tickets had the words ‘AL BED’ printed on the face.
ap :: Hakim - Nazra (MP3, 179kbps, 4.63mb, 1:29/3:37)

<Kolmeck>
Al Bed? weird…

<@Xial>
I bought the ticket, and it was a winner. Four free tickets.
Interesting trivia for you: Unscrambled, AL BED is BLADE.
(And I only notice this now that I’m writing about it.)
More interesting trivia: I haven’t listened to Hakim in MONTHS.

<Kolmeck>
Hakim? what is that?

<@Xial>
ap :: Hakim - El Hak’ale (MP3, 176kbps, 6.21mb, 0:10/4:55)
Specifically, it was the song that I’m playing right now.
That’s how I recognized it.
Yet More Interesting Trivia: “EL HAK’ALE” translated to “IT’S YOUR FAULT”.

Right now, I’m sitting awake, because of another dream I had.

I was dreaming of our old house, but in better condition. I was in the front yard, and it was about 9 pm. I don’t know what I was doing outside, but I was digging something. I saw a snake hiding in a hole, and as I went to prod it with the shovel, it slithered off. Something prompted me to turn around, and as I did, a green rattlesnake struck me and bit my right nipple. As it hit, I woke up, with my pulse racing, which was not good. I felt my heart trying to jump out of my chest.

Something in my soul is telling me that something is going to go terribly wrong, and I’m afraid. Terribly afraid.