June 2007

On Friday, while I was about to get ready to go to work, one of our shelter’s social workers comes into my dorm.

He’s walking down the row, knocking on the walls to see if anyone’s in their room, and if they respond, they are subject to an impromptu search of their posessions, to check for contraband.

I found a delightful amount of humor in part of the list that is considered contraband. Some of the items we are not allowed to have up here are pornography, alcohol, narcotics, weaponry, and (get this) ’adult toys’. In fact, someone was removed from the program earlier in the week, on an unrelated issue, and when they went to clean up what he left, they found several phallic adult toys up here. This, in turn, sparked the dorm by dorm content check to see if they can spot the objects.

There have been many males discharged from the program in the last few weeks, and honestly, I assume they deserved it for whatever reason they were discharged. After all, it was made clear to me that when I came up here, this was a religious organization, so I pretty much assumed that, of course, things like pornography and drugs, or even alcohol would not be allowed up here. I also assumed that for a program that has 42 men living together under the same roof would have no room for weapons.

I am, given my nature, of two minds about the adult toys. Some of them serve a specific purpose, and would be a more viable alternative than intercourse with an unknown person, so I’d side with the owner of the toys. However, I can see where those who follow the Holy Bible strictly would be offended by the presence of these things, and thus I can see where they are coming from as well, and would side with them just as evenly.

I think the rest of my humor about this comes from just how this social worker pronounces the plural form of ’dildo’. I think it sounds like a combination of ’dildo’ and ’Thor’ (link removed to keep you all sane, haha).

I’ll just sit back and wait for the next ’dildor search’.